Somewhere along the line, unknowingly, I decided to make everything much harder than it needed to be.
Trying to prove something to someone? Maybe myself? I really don’t know.
Quest for Independence
I hold these thoughts to be self-destructive:
Feeling needy and lacking. Worthless. Feeling useless.
Worry. Panic. Fear of stupid shit.
Trying to take on everything and fix what goes wrong alone…without communication in the household.
Not expressing gratitude every day.
Not practicing forgiveness. Holding grudges.
Irritability and living in general pissy-ness.
Not enjoying what is right there, at that moment.
Not letting my heart lead.
Being too protective and cynical.
Monetary competition.
Self pity.
Reminiscing on past things gone awry.
Trying to decipher what other people want. Or want you to do.
A job title makes you who you are and therefore important enough for others.
…whew, I think I better stop there for now.
I hold these thoughts to be self-fulfilling and positive:
Look at life through rose colored glasses. Glass half-full. Look for the positive in every situation.
Listen to my heart. Closely.Talk to my heart. Truthfully.
Keep out the shoulds.
Give more. Help more.
Show and share gratitude every single day. Be thankful.
Appreciate where I am at this very moment.
Communicate.
Live simply.
Don’t justify, figure, and over think every little thing.
Meditate.
Exercise. In any shape or form.
Take care of my temple. My body and my mind.
Anger and irritation happens. Accept that, but only let it for 3 seconds. See my 3 second rule.
Allow life’s energy to flow within and through me.
Accept there are things I cannot change or fix. Ex: My fear of storms – A thunderstorm is just that, a cleansing of the earth.
Walk on my own two feet with my heart leading the way.
Appreciate what has happened in the past. Grow from the experience. Don’t keep reliving it in my mind.
Welcome to Shittyville.
This week I feel right to the bottom with a huge splat. Unleashing my woes on anyone that would listen. At first I felt incredibly stupid after doing it, but now I realized I had to get it out in public for me to see what needed to be changed.
It was a great lesson in humility, but an even bigger lesson for me in my own personal growth.
Living in a negative state full of worry, fears, and stress only breeds more of the same. It replicates faster than micro-organisms. It takes on a world of it’s own, sets up a comfy home, and then builds a town. Complete with corrupt politicians.
I realized this week that I have been living in my personal little Shittyville for about 12 years.
Something back then went poof in my brain and up came the town. Every now and then through the years…a tornado would blow through Shittyville, but those little buggers are determined and back came the town. Each rebuild was stronger and more reinforced than the last.
This time around the Shittyville residents built up enough for Armageddon.
At least they thought they were safe.
We interrupt this blog for a Newsflash!!!!
I’m glad to report Shittyville has been wiped off the map. ohhh, bad pun..hehe!
The residents have left and there are no plans for rebuilding!
Next stop Amyville.
The other day I dug out a bunch of stuff. I was just creating. Anything that came to my mind.
It felt freaking awesome!
Found some old beads and created a couple strings for meditation.
Then out came all the colored pencils and Prismacolor markers…Cupcakes, neoplotian ice cream, and then one lotus and then another.
The next day I sold the first Lotus! What a way to see that following what my heart wants really works! A big thank you to Kyeli! You can find her here or here.
Tomorrow when my body is starting to heal from all the hay we have to bale today, I’m going to make a post showing gratitude to all the people that have helped me get rid of Shittyville. Some may know it, some may not even know how they helped, but it’s my way of showing thanks.
So, come back tomorrow and maybe you will find some more fab people to check out!
Off to get ready to make hay…talk to you lovelies soon!
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